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texts-from-disney:

218

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ownedthestage:

tyleroakley:

memewhore:

freesamuel:

the-astrovert:

HOLDE MINE HAIR

ye olde partie times

Verily, thou art such a lightweight.

Things ye can’t: even.

Thou only liveth once

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"But I guess ultimately what scares me about marriage is where do you find this person? You know a lot of times, most successful relationships, people meet through work, school, mutual friends. But what’s most interesting to me is when people just meet in life, just randomly. You know, I have a friend, he got married, I asked him like “Hey, uh, where’d you meet your wife?” He was like “I was leaving Bed, Bath & Beyond. I was looking for my car - I drive a gray Prius. I saw a different gray Prius, I thought it was mine, I walked up to it, I realized I had the wrong car, but I bumped into Carol, we started talking, that was that”. That’s unbelievable. Think about all the random factors that had to come together to make this one moment possible - this one moment that changed these two people’s entire lives: First off, this guy has to live in this particular town. Then he has to get a gray Prius. Then he has to need to go to Bed, Bath & Beyond. Then he has to go to that particular Bed, Bath & Beyond. Then there has to be another guy who also lives in town, also drives a gray Prius, also needs to go to Bed, Bath & Beyond, also goes to that particular Bed, Bath & Beyond at around the same time. Then they have to both park somewhat near each other, my friend has to leave before the other guy leaves, see the wrong Prius, think it’s his, walk up to it. Then the woman, Carol, needs to be near the wrong gray Prius for a million other random reasons. They bump into each other, they start talking, their entire lives are changed. That’s the most amazing and terrifying thing about life. It is, cause the amazing thing is that at any moment, any one of us can have that moment that totally changes our lives. You could be leaving the show tonight, bump into someone… it could change your life. You don’t know, that could happen. The terrifying thing is… what if we’re all supposed to be at Bed Bath & Beyond right now?"

— Aziz Ansari, Buried Alive (via larmoyante)

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espeyonce:

When you accidentally type “hood” instead of “good”

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(Source: god2007, via oknope)

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"I said I would go to hell for you, but I didn’t expect you to leave me there."

a sentence or two (x)

holy. wow.

(via tupau)

(via peniscuous)

522977

I wanna be that one girl who looks really cute but also gives off the vibe that she could snap your neck if you disrespect her like is that possible for me

(Source: kimisbaked, via oknope)

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sashagreystoilet:

rawr means “pop that pussy for a real nigga” in dinosaur

(via hoodandfabulous)

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neon-vagina:

bigeisamazing:

ronaldreagay:

laughing cow cheese huh?
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I BET THAT COW WASNT LAUGHING WHEN YOU SLAUGHTERED IT HUH

you don’t kill a cow

to make cheese

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this is literally my favorite

(Source: catholicschoolgay, via oknope)

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fagmobs:

getmad-govegan:

being vegan is so emotionally draining like i can’t even look at someone drinking a milkshake without wanting to cry this is ridiculous if your ‘food’ makes me emotionally distressed that might be a sign that it’s not good 

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(via semi-automatic-colony)